Need tips for work tomorrow...?

Here come sit on my lap and let old uncle Andres what he would do..............I would do a bunch of jumping jacks , eat a bunch of laxatives, and Viagra (In order to stay aware of your surroundings), I would get a friend preferably a girl to rub my feet with mayonnaise, and finally I would just call it in sick buddy your in nooo way in any condition to work screw those job perks.